


A Story of Winter

by TheNinjaTurkey (CaptainTurkey)



Category: Kimi ni Todoke | From Me to You
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Romance, Sapporo, daily life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23182084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainTurkey/pseuds/TheNinjaTurkey
Summary: After graduating high school, Sawako and Shota moved to Sapporo, Hokkaido's capital city. There they attend university and go about their lives. Among busy school and work schedules, they make as much time as they can to see each other, but it's hardly enough. As Sawako and Shota blossom into adults, they learn to face new life challenges together. Story posted originally on fanfiction.net a long time ago. I have yet to finish it, but wanted to post it here too.
Relationships: Kazehaya Shouta/Kuronuma Sawako
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

Sawako waited at the subway station.

She held her bag with both hands in front of her, waiting quietly for the train to arrive.

Her breath condensed into the cold Sapporo winter air, dissipating as it hit her red winter jacket.

She had just gotten off of work, and was on her way home. She tuned out the noise of the crowd around her as her mind began to wander. She thought of Shota as she played with the ring on her left hand, turning it on its axis.

Her head darted up as the train’s whistle sounded. The lights of the subway train blinded her and the other waiting passengers as it pulled into the station. She scanned the LCD screen attached to the train as it stopped. Toho line. This was her train.

“This is the Toho line to Sakaemachi Station,” a woman’s voice echoed robotically through the bustling station, “All passengers to Sakaemachi Station, please board the train.”

Sawako boarded the train and found a place to sit. The doors closed as the robotic woman warned passengers not to get in their way. She looked out the window as the train began to speed away.

The familiar stations passed until the train made its way to Sakaemachi, her stop.

Sakaemachi was the northernmost station in the Sapporo Metro, and Sawako could not ride the train any further. She would have liked to ride in the warmth of the crowded subway car, but would just have to brave the bitter Hokkaido air as she walked the short distance to her apartment.

As she walked along the streets, passing the familiar shops and apartment buildings of her immediate neighborhood, she wondered why she chose an apartment so far away from the university. If she had chosen an apartment near Sapporo Station, she would hardly have to ride the subway at all.

The answer of course, was cost. Apartments near the city center were far more costly than the ones out near the edges. Sawako only made so much money. As a university student, she could only afford so much. And if she was honest, she didn’t mind the relative quiet that the edges of the city brought as opposed to the bustling, vibrant streets of downtown Sapporo.

Well, bustling and vibrant for Hokkaido, anyway.

These thoughts zipped through Sawako’s mind as she made her way up the stairs to her apartment. She climbed the flights of stairs, counting them as she went. She much preferred the stairs to the elevator as it gave her the exercise she never quite had time to fit in. She made it to the sixth floor of her enormous apartment building and opened the door leading to her hallway. She walked a distance before reaching room 654, her apartment.

Sawako turned the lock to her apartment and opened the door. She entered the dark room and left her shoes in the genkan. She fumbled around in the darkness, searching for the light switch. She finally found it and the room was illuminated. The unnatural light it brought was somewhat depressing, so she made her way to the window and opened the blinds. Some natural light was let in, but the grey, overcast skies of November let little natural light into the entire city, let alone her tiny apartment.

She sighed and stared out the window, idly watching the storeowner across the street sweep the late autumn leaves off the storefront. She sat there for a while, thinking about her day, right arm supporting her chin. She was just about to turn away when she heard a sound.

_Mew_

Sawako looked beside her and noticed her cat, Junko sitting on the windowsill, begging for attention. Sawako had adopted Junko when she first moved to Sapporo, around two years ago. She had adopted her as a kitten, but she had since grown to full size. She mused at how fast cats grow up.

Junko purred as Sawako scratched the underside of her chin. The cat closed her eyes in contentment as Sawako scratched the spot where she liked to be scratched most. Sawako was grateful to have this animal companion to greet her every day after school and work.

Sawako jolted as she heard a faint beeping coming from her handbag. This scared Junko away and she jumped off the windowsill. Sawako made her way to the table where her bag was sitting and fished for her phone. Upon finding it, she pulled it out and checked her messages. She could already guess who it was from.

_How was your day?_

Sawako smiled and pulled the phone to her heart. She could always count on Shota to message her as soon as she got home. She started to type a reply.

_Pretty good. Same as always. Went to school, worked at the café. Nothing too interesting. How was yours?_

She sent the message and set the phone on the table. She continued stroking Junko, who had returned after being scared away earlier.

Her phone beeped again.

_Oh, you know. The same, haha. Went to school and then worked. SOOOOO fun. You wanna do anything today? I haven’t seen you since Wednesday._

Sawako felt a tinge of regret. After she and Shota had moved out the dorms, they had been living in separate apartments. Shota wanted to move in with Sawako, but she turned him down for fear of how her parents might react. And to be honest, she didn’t mind the quiet. She still wondered every day what it might have been like if she had gone with her gut and moved in with Shota. It certainly would have been cheaper, not to mention nice to see Shota each and every day.

She must have taken too long to respond, because another message came in.

_Ryu left today. He and Chizuru went back to Kitahoro for the weekend. Might be an opportunity to spend some time together?_

Sawako’s heart skipped a beat. Given that they lived in separate apartments, Sawako and Shota didn’t get as much time together as they would have liked. Especially considering that Ryu and Shota had chosen an apartment practically on the other side of the city, near Kotoni Station. They saw each other most days at the university, when their schedules matched up. But between school and work both of them hardly had time to see each other besides on the weekends. Sawako could go to Shota’s place whenever she wanted to, but they could never get much privacy when Ryu was around. And Sawako’s place was too far from where Shota worked that he rarely made his way there with his busy schedule. Sawako wished they had planned the whole situation much better when they were moving off-campus, but this was just the way things had worked out.

Considering all of this, Sawako jumped at the opportunity to spend a weekend at Shota’s place. She liked Ryu, he was a great friend, but she much preferred spending time with Shota alone. She picked up her phone and typed a response.

_Absolutely! I haven’t had the chance to spend enough time with you! Let me pack a bag and I’ll make my way over._

Giddy with excitement, she quickly packed enough clothes to last the weekend, putting them in the small backpack she used for school. Realizing she had schoolwork to do, she threw her laptop in with the bundles of clothes.

Junko knew what this meant and started to complain, mewing repeatedly until Sawako gave her attention.

“I’ll be back soon enough, Junko-chan,” she said as she scratched the cat under the chin, “It’s only for a few days. I’ve left you plenty of food to make it that long.”

She pulled on the backpack and made her way to the genkan. Pulling on her shoes and red winter jacket, she turned to see Junko staring at her from atop her living room armchair.

“Now don’t pout, Junko-chan,” she said, “You’ll see me when I get back.”

She placed her hand on the doorknob, ready to leave the apartment.

“Guard the place while I’m gone!” she said to Junko as she opened the door.

Sawako made her way down the steps, running down them with a new spring in her step as she went. She breathed a breath of fresh, cold air as she opened the door to the outside. The skies were getting darker as the sun set on Sapporo. She walked swiftly through the streets, admiring the lights as they began to illuminate. She made her way towards the station, thinking of how wonderful her weekend was going to be.


	2. Chapter 2

The train rumbled down the tracks.

Sawako stared at her phone, checking social media as she waited for the long forty minute ride to be over.

She had already switched over from the Toho line to the Tozai line, and was nearing Kotoni station, where she would get off. Sawako spent many anxious journeys on the Tozai line, waiting for the trip to end so she could finally see Shota.

 _Why do we have to live so far away?_ She asked herself. _Maybe once my lease is up, I can move somewhere closer to him. I’ll just have to ride the subway a little further than usual to school._

She spent the remainder of the trip fantasizing of a future in which she lived somewhere closer to Shota.

_The price should be about the same, given Kotoni isn’t near the city center. Shota says the rent isn’t so bad. And I’ll have to find a place that will let me take Junko… That should make things difficult._

Thoughts like these flowed through her mind until the robotic woman spoke again.

“This is Kotoni Station. All passengers for Kotoni station, please exit the train. Next stop, Hassamu-Minami station.”

Sawako stood up and climbed out of the train car. As the doors closed behind her, she heard the robotic woman speak once again.

“This is the Tozai line to Miyanosawa Station. Next stop, Hissamu-Minami Station. The doors are closing, please do not block the doors, and kindly move-.”

The woman’s voice was cut off and muffled unintelligibly as the train doors closed.

Sawako heard that robotic voice so many times in one day that she could remember almost everything it said word for word. She would sometimes hear the robotic voice saying its lines over and over in her head even when she wasn’t on the train.

The train blew its whistle and was on its way. By this time, Sawako was climbing the stairs to ground level. She mused at the sounds of the train echoing through the now slightly less crowded subway tunnels.

The buildings in Shota’s neighborhood were almost as familiar as those in her own. As she walked by them, she almost felt as if she were in her own neighborhood. She had been here enough times that the area had begun to feel like a second home.

Shota and Ryu did not live in an apartment building quite as big as hers. It was relatively small, with only three floors. The building itself was smaller, but the rooms were much bigger. Given that Ryu and Shota were roommates, they were able to afford a much larger place than Sawako would ever have been able to afford. It was part of the reason she liked spending time at Shota’s place so much.

She finally reached Shota and Ryu’s building after an excruciating hour long commute. As she climbed the stairs, she cursed herself for not moving closer to Shota while she had the chance.

She reached the second story and made it to Shota’s room. The numbers on the door read 220. She gave the door a light knock, and as the door opened, was greeted by her favorite bundle of joy.

“Maru-chan!” she exclaimed as she scooped up the little dog that greeted her at the door. She held the dog like a baby and pulled him closer to her face, and was rewarded with a few licks to her nose.

This was the same dog that Shota had adopted back in high school. His real name was Pedro Martinez, after some sort of baseball star, but most people found the foreign name to be too troublesome and simply called him Maru. He was considerably older now, but almost the same size and just as friendly.

She set the dog down and looked further into the apartment. Shota was leaning on the wall a few steps away. He was used to Maru getting attention well before he did.

“I guess I’m just not important enough to you,” he joked.

Sawako stared at Shota, taking in his image. She saw him often enough, but could not get enough of looking at him every time she saw him. He had grown a bit more since high school, but looked more or less the same. His hair was as shaggy and disorganized as always, and his smile was just as bright.

Before she knew it, she was making her way over to him. They embraced as they always would upon seeing each other, and simply held the embrace for a moment, saying nothing.

Sawako pulled herself away slightly, tilting her head up towards his. Knowing what this meant, Shota leaned down to meet her, and their lips gingerly met.

Sawako reveled in the moment. She savored the feelings of connection and trust that the kiss brought to her. Her stomach ached with desire and her body shivered from head to toe. Every time they kissed, she felt this way. Especially when they hadn’t seen each other in more than a few days. She made a promise to herself a long time ago to always remember how this felt, and she made sure to take in every sensation, every emotion in its entirety that being with Shota brought. She didn’t ever want to forget it.

After a few moments, they pulled away, hands clasped together. Sawako rested her forehead on Shota’s, smiling with contentment.

“You’re always important to me,” she said as she lightly stroked his chest with her index finger.

She lifted her head off of Shota chest and looked him in the eyes.

“I’m home.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So why’d Ryu and Chizuru go to Kitahoro?” Sawako asked from another room.

“I’m not sure, really,” said Shota from the kitchen, raising his voice to be heard above the boiling water, “You know Ryu. He just kind of came up to me and said he was leaving. Chizuru stopped by to pick him up, and they were gone.”

Sawako let out a genuine laugh. Ryu had been curt and to the point ever since she met him, and it made her laugh to see how that still hadn’t changed.

“Chizu-chan mentioned they might be going somewhere this weekend, but she never said where,” Sawako said, “She probably didn’t want anyone to know she was going with Ryu.”

“Those two have been friends since childhood. More than friends. They really ought to get together already,” said Shota.

“Maybe they are! They might hiding it from us.”

“That would surely explain a lot.”

They talked of various things from separate rooms, raising their voices slightly in order to hear each other. As they talked, Sawako worked on some schoolwork while Shota made dinner. This was a sort of tradition they had started together. In the years since high school, Shota had taken a liking to cooking. Sawako liked to cook as well, she had cooked plenty of times for her family as a child, but not nearly as much as Shota did. Shota reveled in coming up with and implementing new recipes, and was especially pleased to have Sawako try his experiments. They usually turned out fine, so Sawako was pleased to let Shota cook for her. That, and Sawako’s course load was much heavier than Shota’s, given that Shota was studying to be a kindergarten teacher and she was studying to be a psychologist.

They continued like this for a while until Shota emerged from the kitchen, wearing the apron he always did and bringing with him two steaming bowls.

“We were running low on groceries, so I kept it simple this time,” he said.

What Shota had made was not simple by most people’s standards, but certainly much less complicated than what he usually made.

Sawako closed her laptop and made her way to the dining room table.

She peered over the tops of the bowls to see what Shota had made. Inside was some quite delicious looking ramen, still steaming from the heat.

“Ramen will do perfectly,” she said, “You know that your ramen is by far my favorite.”

They ate the freshly cooked ramen with zeal, fitting in a few words here and there between slurps. Once she finished, Sawako set down her chopsticks and leaned back in her chair, hand on her stomach with pleasure.

“That was delicious,” she said, “Though if I had to complain, I would say you made too much. I’m stuffed.”

Shota laughed as he began gathering the plates.

“Better to overfeed you than feed you too little,” he said.

Shota went to put the dishes away. Sawako leaned back in her chair as she waited, looking out the window. She watched people moving to and fro outside as she listened to the domestic sounds of dishes being cleaned. Listening to the clinking of dishes under running water had a strange zen like effect on her. She closed her eyes and allowed the sounds to calm her mind. She took this moment to give thanks to whomever might be listening for how lucky she was.

Her zen like state ended as Shota shut off the water. She slowly opened her eyes as Shota made his way over to her, drying his hands with a towel.

“Well,” he began, “Now that dinner’s out of the way, did you want to do anything in particular? We could go out, or we could spend the night inside.”

Sawako thought on this for a moment. She had been so excited to spend the weekend with Shota that she hadn’t given much thought to what they would do with their time.

Luckily, Shota came up with a suggestion before she had to think about it too hard.

“Since it’s getting colder, that ice rink near Sapporo Station is open. Do you want to give that a try?”

The mention of this ice rink brought memories back to Sawako’s mind. Near Sapporo Station, there was a giant outdoor ice rink that usually opened around this time. It was in the middle of downtown Sapporo, and was a great place to skate and enjoy the winter atmosphere of Hokkaido’s capital city. She had gone there many times with Shota, Chizuru, and Ayane throughout her time in Sapporo.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” she said after some deliberation, “It might be busy, being a Friday night, but that’s ok.”

“Great!” said Shota, jumping up in excitement, “I’ll go grab our skates, and then we can get going!”

Shota went into another room to grab their ice skates. Sawako owned a pair of ice skates, but left her pair with Shota because they usually went together. There weren’t any ice skating rinks near her apartment anyway.

She was just starting to pull on her winter jacket as Shota emerged from the other room with the skates. He put them in a bag to make them easier to carry and swung it on his back. Soon, they were off to the station.

The train to Sapporo Station only took about 20 minutes. They had to change trains once, which was kind of annoying, but Sawako and Shota were so used to navigating the Sapporo train system at this point that it hardly bothered them. Normally, the trip would have cost around 700 yen, but their university provided them with unlimited access to Sapporo’s train system, so they could take the trains as much as they wanted to.

They emerged from the now slightly less crowded underground platform into the winter air. The glaring lights of Sapporo’s city center overwhelmed Sawako as she and Shota left the station.

She spun around in a circle, detaching her hand from Shota’s as she did so. She wanted to take in every light, every face, every detail. She heard Shota laugh as she completed her spin.

“Sapporo still dazzles you, doesn’t it?” he asked.

He was right. Although they had lived in Sapporo for years, Sawako was still used to the modesty of their small town, and coming to the city center on a Friday night was always a feast for the senses.

“C’mon,” said Shota, grabbing her hand again, “The rink isn’t far.”

Shota pulled her through the crowds. They weaved their way through the thousands of people making their way to their Friday night destinations. They weaved and they weaved, making their way through the busiest part of the city, until they reached their destination.

“Here we are,” said Shota with a grin, “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”

“I suppose it has,” Sawako replied, “Since last year.”

The year before, they had come here with Ryu, Chizuru, and Ayane. It was supposed to be a triple date type thing, not that Ryu and Chizuru would have admitted to being a couple, but Ayane had dumped her boyfriend at the time right before showing up. Since moving to Sapporo, Ayane had gone through a series of boyfriends, systematically dumping each one because she eventually decided they weren’t good enough for her. Ayane was somewhat bummed because of this, but Sawako remembered still having a great time with all of her friends.

Recalling this memory, Sawako made a promise to herself to invite everyone here again before the winter was out. She loved spending time with everyone, even though being here alone with Shota wasn’t the worst thing in the world either.

They made their way to the rink and payed the fee. Sawako pulled on her skates and stood up to enter the rink. Using Shota for support and wobbling a little on the thin blades of her ice skates, she and Shota made their way to rink.

Upon entering the rink and sliding around a little, Shota offered Sawako his hand.

“Your hand, miss?”

Sawako grinned in amusement and took his hand, and they began to skate in circles around the rink, gazing at the lights of Sapporo in the cold, winter breeze. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sawako pushed open the door to Shota’s apartment, shivering from the cold. She took off her jacket and crossed her arms for warmth as Shota followed her inside.

Shota took off his jacket and wrapped his arms around Sawako from behind, trying to warm her up. They stood that way as their combined body heat and the heat of the apartment slowly warmed their frigid bodies. Sawako leaned her head against Shota’s chest in appreciation.

“It’s late,” he said, “Ready for bed?”

Sawako nodded and began to take off her shoes. Shota released her as she made her way to her overnight bag. She fetched some pajamas from it and went to the bathroom to change. She and Shota had been together for many years now, but she was still a bit too shy to change in front of him. By the time she was done, Shota was already lying in his bed, waiting for her.

She lifted the blankets and snuggled up against him, wrapping her arms around him in contentment. She savored the warmth of his body. She did not get to do this as often as she would have liked.

As she held her arms around Shota, she could not help but think of her parents. They did not know that she occasionally spent the night at Shota’s place. They probably assumed that she had, but they still saw her as their innocent little girl. She knew her mom wouldn’t react negatively to the whole thing, but her dad would have been positively shocked and depressed to know his daughter had spent the night on several occasions with her boyfriend. She could not help but be amused at the thought of his reaction.

Thoughts like these zipped through her mind, slowing gradually as she listened to the rhythmic rise and fall of Shota’s breathing. Feeling the warmth and protection of the one she loved most, Sawako fell slowly into a deep, restful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

In her lethargic, post-sleep state, Sawako almost forgot where she was. She stared at the ceiling, and passively wondered why it looked so different from the one she was used to. She turned her head to the right, towards the window. Sunlight. There was sunlight for the first time in weeks. The clouds must have dissipated.

She turned her head to the left, and immediately remembered where she was and why she was here. To her left was Shota, sleeping on his side with his back towards her. They had started out sleeping in each other’s arms, but like always, Shota’s restless tossing and turning brought him to his side by morning. He always slept that way in the end.

She looked at the clock hanging on Shota’s bedroom wall. It was past 11 o’clock. They needed to get up.

She watched him for a moment, allowing the soothing sounds of his breathing to wash over her. After a few minutes of this, she could take it no longer. She was up, she wasn’t going back to sleep, and she wanted to do something with Shota.

She began by traipsing her fingers up and down Shota’s back. She moved them as if they were a person on a morning stroll, alternating her index and middle fingers along in a walking motion.

When Shota didn’t wake up, she had to try a more drastic measure. She wrapped her arms around his waist, pressed her body close to his backside, and squeezed with all her might.

“Wake up, Shota,” she said as her voice quivered with a laugh as Shota jolted awake from lack of air.

As soon as Shota was awake and realized what was going on, he squirmed and shook Sawako off. She laughed as she was flung off of him, falling off the bed from the force.

Shota looked over his shoulder to see Sawako on the floor, giggling uncontrollably. She laughed a typical Sawako laugh, quiet and yet genuine.

He made his way to Sawako’s side of the bed and leaned over the edge so he could see her better. Sawako’s giggly morning mood brought a smile to his face.

“If you keep doing that to me, you’re going to end up strangling me one of these mornings,” he said.

“It’s all because you sleep so late,” Sawako said between laughs.

“You know, a simple ‘Good morning Shota’ would work,” he said, “That or shaking me until I wake up. Anything but asphyxiation!”

This made Sawako laugh even harder.

As she continued to laugh, Shota made his way over to her. She was lying on the ground next to the bed, and he brought his body over hers, supporting his weight with his arms on either side of her.

Noticing his presence, Sawako’s laughter fizzled out, and she stared at him. She said nothing, the look in her eyes daring him to do what he had come to do.

Their lips met delicately. Sawako once again felt the shiver and ache she had felt in the kiss they shared the night before. The sensation crept up and down her body, relaxing her every muscle. The passion of that moment caused her to bring her hand to Shota’s cheek, sliding her fingers slowly down it in a gesture he had learned to mean she wanted him to come closer. He did so, relaxing his arms and allowing his weight to press down on her. Not enough to crush her, but just enough to allow her to feel his weight.

They stayed like this for a while, allowing the lukewarm rays of that sunlit winter morning to wash over them as they welcomed the day together.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sawako sat in the living room as the odors of breakfast cooking flowed from the kitchen.

Shota hummed to himself softly as she continued to work on school work. As she worked, she could not help but smile. Quiet mornings like this with Shota were her world. Neither of them said anything, and they were separated by a wall, but both of them could feel the other’s presence as they went about their morning routine. To Sawako, this was nothing short of heaven.

After some time of this, Sawako heard the click of the stove turning off and the clinking of dishes as Shota finished his cooking. Her mouth watered as she saw Shota emerge from behind the wall separating the kitchen and the living room with an enormous helping of food piled on a plate. Shota motioned for her to come to the table so they could eat.

As Sawako sat she caught a glimpse of what their morning meal would be. Shota had gone for a western breakfast: bacon, eggs, and toast. And a lot of it. They usually had something more Japanese, so this change in style was welcome to her. She began to take her share of the food as soon as she hit the chair.

They sat for a while in silence, enjoying Shota’s excellent cooking. Shota eventually thought of something to say.

“So. Any plans for today?”

Sawako pondered this for a moment. She hadn’t really planned what she would do with Shota that weekend, she was really just excited to be with him and hadn’t thought that far ahead yet.

“I haven’t thought of anything in particular, have you?” she asked.

“No. Not really.”

This was starting to become a problem. Not that it bothered her or anything, but Sawako and Shota had lived in Sapporo for several years at this point. They were starting to run out of things to do. Sawako remembered when they had first moved to Sapporo from their tiny town of Kitahoro. She, Shota, and her friends that had also moved there were overwhelmed by everything to do in the metropolis of Sapporo. Compared to Kitahoro, there was an endless number of things to do. But after a number of years of experiencing everything Sapporo had to offer, it was clear that the endless number of things to do was in fact not so endless. Sawako was not unhappy with this. She had a happy life with wonderful friends and a wonderful boyfriend, but the big city was certainly not quite as exciting as it once was.

Thinking of all this, Sawako continued the conversation.

“Have you ever thought of leaving the city?”

“What do you mean? Like going back to visit Kitahoro?” Shota asked, puzzled.

“No. I mean, like traveling or something,” said Sawako, “I’ve barely ever left Hokkaido. I’d like to see more of Japan. Or more of the world for that matter.”

Shota pondered this for a moment.

“Yeah, I guess I know what you mean. I’ve never really thought much about it, but it would certainly be a nice thing to do.”

“I mean, we only seem to go between Kitahoro and Sapporo. Why don’t we go somewhere new sometime?” Sawako said.

“I mean, we could take _Yuushi_ somewhere. You hardly ever use it.”

Shota was referring to Sawako’s car, which she had named _Yuushi,_ meaning wanderer or traveler. Her parents had bought her the car when she graduated high school so she could drive easily between Sapporo and Kitahoro. It wasn’t anything special, the car was used and fairly old, but Sawako had fallen in love with it ever since she drove it for the first time.

“I mean, we could do that,” Sawako said in response, “I would love to take Yuushi for a drive, we don’t get a chance to do that much in the city, but the problem is we could really only drive it around Hokkaido. I’ve seen too much of Hokkaido. And getting it to Honshu or anywhere else would be difficult.”

“There are ferries,” Shota said, “It’s not impossible.”

“That’s true I guess. It’s something we could do someday, but we would need more than just a weekend to do it.”

“Next break maybe?”

“Maybe.”

A silence descended on them for a moment as the both of them pondered the idea of a road trip around Japan.

“It’s certainly not impossible,” Sawako said after some thought, “We should look into it a bit. I would love to visit Tokyo again.”

“I’ve never been to Tokyo,” Shota said back, “Didn’t you visit sometime in middle school?”

“I did. We made a family trip.”

“Lucky! We should definitely go. I feel like everyone should visit their nation’s capital at least once.”

They were silent for a moment, slightly depressed that they didn’t have the means to make a trip to Tokyo whenever they wanted.

Among the clinking of silverware being used, Sawako had an idea.

“You know where we haven’t really gone? The mountains. I mean, we would from time to time in Kitahoro, but Sapporo has its own set of mountains completely different from Kitahoro’s. We should explore them.”

“You know what, you’re right!” Shota said with a look of surprise on this face, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Shota promptly pulled out his phone, searching the internet for mountainous regions to check out near Sapporo.

“Here’s one!” he said after some searching, “Mount Teine. Thirty minute drive. Oh. Wait a minute. It’s a ski resort. We don’t have skis. Next I guess.”

Sawako stifled a giggle as she watched Shota look so seriously for a place for them to go. He was a good boyfriend.

“Ah! Here’s another one. Mount Moiwa. This looks awesome! It’s a thirty minute drive on highway 230, so not so bad. It does look like a bit of a tourist trap, but apparently you can take a cable car to the summit of the mountain and get a great view of Sapporo. What do you think of that?”

He turned his phone towards her so she could see it. On the screen was a picture of Sapporo at night seen from atop a mountain. A few groups of people leaned over the fences, taking in the many glittering lights of Sapporo’s metro area. She thought it would look much better in person.

“Wow. That looks great!” she said, “Let’s do it!”

“Cool!” Shota said as his eyes lit up at the prospect of the day’s adventure, “Let’s get going as soon as we’re done here.”

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By the time they got going, it was almost 3. Both of them were known for being slow to get going, especially on their days off. They had to hurry.

 _Yuushi_ reluctantly sprang to life, the engine roaring and then sputtering with the effort of starting after a long period of sitting unused in Sapporo’s cold climate.

“Yeah! It’s time for an adventure with Yuushi!” Shota said excitedly.

Sawako giggled. Shota was always so excited to ride in her car as he didn’t have one himself. That, and driving a car was definitely a nice change from riding the subway lines all the time.

Sawako reversed the car, moving it for the first time in months. She then put the car in a forward gear and they were off. As the car began to move and gasoline started flowing through its veins, it gradually sputtered less and less as it got used to the idea of moving.

It had taken them a while to take the subway from Shota to Sawako’s apartment, but the wait was well worth it to get behind the wheel of a car. There was something about the sense of freedom a car brought that a public subway could never emulate. As Sawako gracefully conducted the car through Sapporo’s city streets and eventually onto the highway, she felt a power she could not easily describe. The rumble of the engine, the wind through her hair, and Shota’s excited expression made her feel alive.

They drove down highway 230, which was surprisingly clear of heavy traffic. They talked of things of little importance as the landscape passed by. The cityscape quickly gave way to the interesting blend of colors that was Hokkaido in winter. The pine trees gave off a dark green spotted with the white of Hokkaido’s almost ever present snow.

It was a beautiful drive that ended all too soon. They came across the turnoff to Mount Moiwa and drove up some winding mountain paths, and before they knew it they were at their destination.

Sawako was happy to have arrived, but also somewhat sad that their drive was at an end. Not only was the scenery on their way beautiful, but there was something special about driving down a highway with the person she loved most.

They made their way to the small building that stood near the parking lot and paid the fare for the cable car. They were told they would have to wait twenty minutes for the car to arrive from the summit.

While waiting for the cable car, they made small talk and watched all kinds of people go about their activities on Mount Moiwa. There were young couples like them, groups of friends poking fun at each other, families with anywhere from one to three kids, foreigners with their enormous backpacks, elderly couples leaning on each other as they struggled to walk from their cars to the nearest bench. Sawako was impressed by the immense diversity of humanity they had encountered on the mountain that day.

After what seemed like only a few moments, the cable car arrived. An announcement in a man’s voice played over some loudspeakers.

“The Mount Moiwa Morris Car has arrived. Please make way for unloading passengers before boarding the car. The Mount Moiwa Morris Car has arrived…”

The announcement repeated three or four times.

“Well,” Shota said as he stood up, pushing on his legs to give himself a boost, “Shall we go?”

She nodded and took his outstretched hand, allowing him to pull her onto her feet.

They walked to the cable car and showed the attendant their tickets. They pushed their way into the already somewhat crowded cable car and were lucky enough to secure a spot by the window. Once everyone was aboard and the doors closed, the cable car rumbled to life. As the car began to move, it wobbled unsettlingly as the cable from which it was suspended rocked from side to side. Sawako had to use Shota’s shoulders for support in order not to fall. As the cable car increased speed, it became more and more stable. Sawako could finally let go of Shota’s shoulders and take in the passing scenery.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The view from atop Mount Moiwa was nothing short of incredible.

The cable car ride had taken some time, and the sun had set. By the time Sawako and Shota reached the overlook, Sapporo glistened in a menagerie of light. They stood hand in hand, gawking at the glittering lights of Sapporo that stretched far into the horizon.

“Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe it,” Shota said, breaking the silence.

Sawako was surprised by Shota’s voice. She had been staring at the lights of the city in an awestruck trance for so long that if it weren’t for his hand in hers, she might have forgotten he was there.

Taken so suddenly out of her stupor, her mind raced for a response.

“I never thought it was so big,” she said finally, “I mean, it seems big at ground level, but being up here really gives you an idea of the scale of it all.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen it from this high up before,” Shota said in response.

A moment of silence descended on them as they took in the view once again.

“You know, I wonder what Tokyo would look like from this height,” Shota said, still staring at Sapporo.

Sawako tore her eyes from the city and looked at him, his face obscured by the darkness of night.

“Why do you say that?” she asked.

“Well, you mentioned taking a trip there earlier today, and it’s got me thinking. In all the years I’ve known you we’ve never taken a trip like that. I mean, we go to Kitahoro all the time, and we venture outside Sapporo from time to time, but not often. I think we should go somewhere like that together.”

Sawako smiled, although she wasn’t sure if Shota could see her do so in the dark.

“I would love that.”

Having made their unofficial plans to go to visit Tokyo at some point in the future, they stood for a while longer admiring the view. Sawako pulled herself closer to Shota and allowed his arms to wrap around her. His embrace warmed her body that much more in the frigid alpine temperatures.

She could stay like that forever.

“Attention all Mount Moiwa visitors! Please be aware that the park will be closing in one hour. The final cable car to the parking lot will be leaving in fifteen minutes. Please make sure you board the final car. Attention all…”

The announcement repeated as before.

Sawako and Shota looked at each other and noticed they had both jumped out of their embrace in surprise as the announcement had caught them off guard. They were annoyed that the announcement had brought an end to such a special moment, but they could not help but snicker at each other for getting so scared. They obeyed the announcement and took the cable car back to the parking lot, started the reluctant _Yuushi,_ and drove back to Sapporo in the darkness.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Sawako pulled her car into her apartment’s parking lot, she felt her eyes starting to close on their own. It was good that she didn’t have to drive much further, because she wasn’t sure if she would be able to make it.

Shota looked just as tired, his head resting on the passenger window.

“Hey,” she said as she gave him a nudge, “We’re here. Time to get out.”

He grumbled in his fatigue and slowly got up and began to gather their things. Neither of them said a word as they left the car and made their way sleepily to Sawako’s door.

“Stay at my place tonight,” Sawako said, putting her hand on Shota’s shoulder to get his attention, “It’s late. You’re not going to make the last train home.”

He nodded in agreement as they reached Sawako’s door.

Fumbling with her keys, Sawako unlocked the door to a symphony of mewing. Junko stared at them sitting on the floor, mewing in protest at Sawako’s absence. As she took off her shoes, Sawako gave Junko a quick pat on the head as an apology for being gone, and the cat almost immediately began to purr and nudge her nose against Sawako’s hand with affection.

After removing their shoes and winter gear, the pair stumbled towards Sawako’s bedroom, using each other for support so they wouldn’t fall down.

They reached Sawako’s room and fell side by side on Sawako’s bed, ready for sleep. Junko jumped between them, circling for a moment before lying down to get comfortable.

Sawako’s eyes were closed when she felt something brush her cheek. She opened her eyes to see Shota’s half-closed eyes staring at her. The look in his eyes told her exactly what he wanted.

She moved closer to him, nearly crushing Junko in the process. Their lips joined quickly before separating only a moment later. A customary kiss before bed.

Satisfied with the day they had shared together, Sawako’s eyes closed, and she quickly drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

When Sawako woke up the next day, she did not find Shota beside her. She found this strange, as he was usually quite keen to sleep in, but she thought little of it. She threw the blankets off herself, sending them flying to the ground.

 _I guess he must have stepped outside._ She thought to herself as she stretched both of her arms behind her back.

She looked out the window to the street below. From her sixth floor apartment, she could see the street below quite well. Living in Sapporo’s northernmost area, her neighborhood was relatively quiet and peaceful. It was not at all like Sapporo’s city center, which was much livelier. While the hustle and bustle of Sapporo’s busiest districts did excite her on some days, she very much enjoyed her quieter corner of the city.

She spent some time admiring her neighborhood from above. She watched people go to and fro, moving slowly lazily about their business. There weren’t very many of them. It didn’t seem like a lot of people were out that day. Every once in a while a car would go by, but there were even less of those. The cold temperatures of that lazy Sunday morning kept the people of Sapporo indoors, it seemed. 

Sawako would spend many of her free mornings in the same way. She would watch the people from her bedroom window, wondering what they were doing with their lives. She wondered where they were going, where they worked, what their aspirations were in life. She could not help but look at the tiny people making their way past her apartment building and wonder what their lives were like. She was fascinated by people in that way.

She was jolted out of her thoughts by a light knock at the door. She had almost forgotten that Shota had stayed the night.

“Come in.”

The door opened. Shota appeared with two cups of coffee.

So that was where he had been.

“I made this for you,” he said, extending one of the cups towards her, “I know you can’t function without your coffee.”

Sawako extended her arms, cupping both hands around the mug as she graciously accepted the coffee.

“Thank you,” she said, bringing the mug to her lips, “You make the best coffee.”

Shota looked to the side and scratched at the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“It’s not like I do anything special when I make it.”

“Well, it’s still the best.” 

She took a few sips, feeling a rush of satisfaction as her body took in the caffeine.

“You know you don’t have to knock,” she said, looking at him sideways, “We’re well beyond that by now.”

“Well, you were looking out the window so pensively that I didn’t just want to barge in. It would have been rude.”

Sawako smiled silently and reached out her hand, indicating that she wanted him to come closer. Shota happily obliged. He slid in next to her, grasping her outstretched hand as he did. The two began to sip their coffee in a comfortable silence. Sawako gazed out the window again as she held his hand tightly.

“So, what’s up today?” Shota asked.

Sawako turned her head from the window and took another sip.

“I don’t know,” she said when she had finished drinking, “I didn’t really have anything planned.”

A silence descended on them again. They continued to sip their coffee.

“I should probably go back to my place at some point today,” Shota said, “Ryu and Chizuru should be getting back and I shouldn’t leave him alone.”

“Does Ryu get lonely?” Sawako joked.

Shota snickered.

“If he does, he doesn’t show it. But you know, he’s my friend so if he’s home I probably should be too.”

Sawako was not offended by this. Shota and Ryu had always had a very close relationship, so it was okay with her if he wanted to be home when Ryu was. And if she were being honest, as much as she cared for Shota and as much as she wanted him around, she really did enjoy the peace and quiet.

That didn’t mean she wouldn’t tease him for it though.

“You must love Ryu more than me.”

Realizing he was being teased, Shota responded in kind.

“That may be true, but I’m not the only one. You love Maru-chan more than you do me.”

“I’d say that’s accurate.”

“Maybe we should break up and get with the people we really care about. I’ll get with Ryu and you can get with Maru-chan.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

After a moment of silence, the two broke out in laughter. After being together for so long, sarcastic bouts between them were common.

“No. You can’t get with Ryu,” Sawako said, “I won’t let you.”

“How are you gonna stop-”

But Sawako didn’t let him finish. She had swooped in and stopped his words with a kiss before he could say any more.

They stood like that for a moment, eyes closed and senses stimulated. Shota was the first to pull away.

“I guess you’ve convinced me,” he said.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Now then. As we have studied before, Freud’s idea of the Id consists of our most basic, primal drives. Bodily needs, sexual and aggressive impulses, the fight or flight response. You all know the drill. It’s responsible for the animalistic side of us. The Id seeks to maximize pleasure and minimize suffering. It is a chaotic, disorganized mess of primal instincts. Using Freud’s idea of the Id, we can postulate that the subject seen in figure 9 is acting primarily through the Id, whether he realizes it or…”

Sawako’s professor dragged on and on. While she found the material interesting, the two hour lecture was starting to sap her energy. That, and she wasn’t the biggest fan of Freudian psychology, and much preferred other psychologists to Freud’s strange world of Oedipus complexes and psychosexual stages. She felt that his fixation on the sexual aspect of human psychology was crude and really not necessary. Still, she could recognize the important contributions to psychology that he had made.

She felt her phone buzz in her pocket, saving her from her boredom.

She pulled it out discreetly and checked the message. This was something she would have never done in high school, but since she entered university she didn’t really mind checking her phone in class as much.

The message was from Shota.

_How are your classes going? I just wanted to let you know that I had a lot of fun this weekend. I’m done with class now so I’m heading to work. Hope your day goes smoothly!_

Shota had made a habit of sending her texts throughout the day. The both of them were so busy that they barely had time to talk to each other during the week. A text message here and there throughout the day helped the both of them get through their days away from each other.

Sawako decided to respond later and put her phone away. She didn’t want to disrespect her professor by spending too much time on her phone.

The class continued to drag. This was the kind of professor that wasted no time. He never let the class go even a minute early, he made use of every second available. While Sawako admired his dedication to teaching, a teacher who never once let his students go even a little bit early could get somewhat tiring.

Finally, the class ended. At exactly 3 o’clock, not a second too early or too late, the professor let them go. Sawako began packing up her things.

Once she had packed up her bag, she began awkwardly making her way towards the door, weaving her way through the other students who had decided to stay a while to chat. Despite her healthy group of friends, Sawako was still not much of a talker when it came to strangers. That much hadn’t really changed since high school. So, she was often among the first to leave class while the other students fraternized. 

“Kuronuma-San.”

She stopped with her hand on the doorknob at the sound of the deep, aspirated voice of her elderly professor.

“Y-Yes, Nobusawa-Sensei?”

She took her hand off the doorknob and made her way meekly towards her professor. She was not quite sure what he could possibly want with her, as the two of them had barely spoken.

“I never received your essay last week. It was supposed to be due at midnight on the day of the last class meeting. Were you planning on turning it in?”

Sawako thought for a moment. She couldn’t remember any essay being due. She thought for a moment until it suddenly came back to her, and a flash of panic shot through her body. The essay was worth a decent percentage of her grade, and with her busy schedule she had completely forgotten about it.

She unconsciously gave a series of quick, shallow bows as she began to explain herself.

“I’m so sorry Sensei! I completely forgot about it. I must have gone to work that day and completely forgotten to turn it in. We were so busy that day. Lots of customers. It won’t happen again, I promise you!”

Nobusawa-Sensei chuckled a little and put his hand up, signaling her to stop her explaining.

“It’s quite alright, Kuronuma-San,” he said, “I understand that life can get very busy and unpredictable. I just thought I would remind you so that it actually gets turned in. Do you think you can email it to me by tonight?”

“Yes! Yes! Thank you Sensei, It’s almost done, so I can do that.”

Sawako was relieved. She was usually such a good student, and forgetting to turn in an assignment was unlike her. Her increasingly busy schedule must have been taking its toll. Nobusawa-Sensei’s kindness and understanding were hard to come by at her relatively prestigious university, and she couldn’t be more grateful.

“Great. Just get it to me soon and we’ll be fine, I won’t dock you points,” said Nobusawa-Sensei, “You’re such a good student, and I can’t in good conscience penalize you for a simple lapse in memory.”

“Thank you, Sensei,” Sawako said, bowing deeper this time, “I will go finish it now.”

She started to make her way to the door before being stopped by Nobusawa-Sensei again.

“Kuronuma.”

She stopped and turned to look at him again. 

“Learn to take a break every once in a while,” he said, “You university students have very busy lives, I know, but it pains me to see all of you destroying yourselves in the process. Please, just learn to breathe from time to time.”

Sawako was taken aback. She had never thought of Nobusawa-Sensei as such a kind man. To her, he was just the old guy who taught one of her psychology courses, not a source of kindness and empathy.

“Thank you, Nobusawa-Sensei. I will.”

She left the room as she processed Nobusawa-Sensei’s words.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As she walked to the station, Sawako continued to process what Nobusawa-Sensei had said. Did she look so exhausted that Nobusawa-Sensei felt he had to offer advice? Or was it simply because she had forgotten to turn in an assignment, something she normally didn’t do?

No matter what had made Nobusawa-Sensei feel like he had to say something, his words made Sawako think. She was juggling a full school schedule and a part time job. In addition, she had friends and a boyfriend who she wanted to spend her time with. And on top of that, she had to get her large amounts of homework done on a daily basis. To put things simply, she was stretched thin.

She wondered if every university student went through this struggle. She wondered if they all were so busy that they felt like they had no time to breathe, or was it just her and the fact that she had chosen such a particularly busy schedule?

Her mind then wandered to her friends. Shota never seemed quite as busy as she was. He was definitely busy, but he always seemed to have a little more free time available than she did. But maybe that was just because he was a much less diligent student than she. 

Chizuru was less busy. Chizuru did attend Sawako’s university, but didn’t take as many credits as Sawako did. She seemed to like taking things slowly. Sawako remembered that she had once said that she didn’t like the stress of taking so many classes at the same time, and would rather “go with the flow” than be stressed out about school all the time.

Ayane didn’t go to Sawako’s university. She worked as a hairdresser in Sapporo’s city center. She did attend a local community college, but Sawako suspected that she liked her job as a hairdresser much more. Ayane had said once that she went to the community college “just in case” she ever wanted to get some kind of fancy degree.

And Ryu… What did he do? Sawako wasn’t exactly sure what Ryu’s schedule was like. He definitely went to school, but he never really talked about his experience at school much.

Sawako mused to herself that everyone’s university experience was much different, and how it went depended much on the person. Hers was just one of the busier university schedules out of a myriad of possible schedules she might have.

Before she knew it, she had reached the station. Now she had to wait for the train to show up so it could take her a few stations south to where she worked. She sat in the closest bench and sighed, her breath condensing as she did. What Nobusawa-Sensei said to her had had quite an effect. As she sat in the bench, she realized that she was tired. Very, very tired. The weeks and weeks of the same busy schedule had taken their toll, and thanks to what Nobusawa-Sensei had told her, she was only starting to notice it now. In her head, she counted down the months to graduation, which was a bit more than a year off. Maybe, just maybe once she was done, she could take a break. Maybe she would wait on getting a full time job for a while. Maybe she could travel, maybe she could spend time with her parents, or maybe she could just have some time to relax at home.

As she fantasized about this, she knew that the harsh reality was that she would probably have to get a full time job as soon as possible. She didn’t have enough money on hand to simply stop working. The thought brought her down a little. No matter what she did, the cycle of busyness would continue.

Just then, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

She realized that she had forgotten to respond to Shota. She quickly pulled her phone out of her pocket. The message was from him.

_Hey. Are you alright? I haven’t heard from you. I’m at work now. It’s boring. Hope your day is still going well!_

Sawako gave a melancholy smile to the screen. She felt guilty that she had taken so long to respond to Shota. She knew that he understood her busy schedule and didn’t particularly mind if she took some time to respond, but she could tell that he was a bit worried. In a city as large as Sapporo, you never knew what might happen, so Shota worried for her a lot. She didn’t want to make him worry. She wrote up a response.

_Hi. Sorry, something a professor said to me got my mind wandering, and I forgot about your text. I’m waiting for the train now. I’ll be at work in about thirty minutes._

She hit send and waited a while. She continued her hobby of watching and wondering about people until her phone vibrated again.

_What did your professor say? Do I have to beat someone up? >:(_

Sawako stifled a laugh. He was joking, of course, but his dedication to her made her feel much better.

_No, that’s okay. He didn’t say anything mean. Just something that got me thinking. I’ll talk to you about it later in person._

She heard the roar of electric motors and the ringing of the train’s whistle. She quickly typed out another message.

_The train is here. I have to go. I know you’re busy, but can you stay with me tonight? I actually really want to talk to you in person about what that professor said. Something about it is really bothering me. Talk to you later!_

The roar of the train’s electric motors softened as it came to a stop. The familiar voice of the robotic woman came over the loudspeakers.

“This is the Nanboku Line to Makomanai Station. All passengers to Makomanai Station, please board the train.”

Sawako slipped through the doors to the train car just as they began to close. The trains had so many stops to make that they never stayed at a given station for long. You had to be really quick getting on and off.

Just as she found a seat, her phone buzzed again. She pulled it out to check it.

_Of course I can stay with you tonight. I’ll come to your apartment after work. See you then!_

She slipped the phone back into her pocket. She was so grateful that Shota would take the time to see her just because she was feeling a bit down.

She looked out the window and watched the concrete walls fly by. Throughout the entire ride, she could help but smile.


	5. Chapter 5

Sawako walked up to her apartment door and slid her key into the lock.

She opened the door slowly, making sure Junko wasn’t nearby so she wouldn’t make a break for it. She opened it wider, and saw that her cat was sitting on the windowsill, waiting for her to return home. With this, Sawako knew it was safe to open the door all the way and make her way inside.

She removed her shoes and set her backpack on the floor just a few feet away from the apartment door. She promptly made her way to the armchair set up in the living room and fell into it.

She was exhausted. The café had been particularly busy that day, and Sawako was glad to be home and away from the stress of her job. She let out a sigh.

_Mew_

She looked down to see Junko at her feet. The cat peered up at her with a questioning gaze. She must have been wondering what had made Sawako so exhausted.

“Hey Junko,” Sawako said to her cat, “How was your day today?”

_Mew_

Sawako patted her lap twice with her palms, indicating to Junko that she wanted her to jump up. In response, Junko shook her back end a few times in preparation before leaping up to Sawako’s lap. Sawako immediately began to stroke at Junko’s chin, and was rewarded with the soothing rumble of purring.

After a time, Sawako stopped. She had so little energy left that even stroking Junko was a bit too much. Instead, she let her hand rest motionless on the soft fur of Junko’s back.

“I can hardly take all this work anymore, Junko-chan,” she said partly to herself and partly to Junko.

Junko must have sensed the fatigue in Sawako’s voice, because as soon as she had finished speaking, Junko raised her head and began to lick the underside of Sawako’s chin.

“Hey! Your tongue is too rough!” Sawako laughed in protest.

She gently pushed Junko away, but made sure her cat knew that she appreciated the gesture by giving her a few pats.

“You’re a good friend, Junko-chan.”

She sat like that for a while, stroking Junko and pretending like she didn’t have homework to do. She gazed absentmindedly out the window as she did so, admiring the snow illuminated by streetlights and an old man stumbling his way along the street.

“Okay. Time to get to work.”

She gently lifted Junko off of her lap and placed her on the floor. She made her way to her backpack and pulled out her laptop, setting it on the table with a thump. Junko, annoyed that Sawako had kicked her off of her lap, gave an attention seeking mew.

“Sorry, Junko-chan,” Sawako said in response, “But if Shota is coming over tonight, I really need to get some work done before he gets here.”

So Sawako set to work. Ignoring Junko’s meowing, she started to work on the ridiculous amounts of school work she had to do.

It occurred to her that when she started university, she really didn’t have a lot of work to get done. She would usually finish her work in under an hour. But now that she was an upper division student, her homework was much more time consuming. She realized that this intense amount of homework could easily be blamed for her constant fatigue. Her day to day life was tiring enough, but even at home she couldn’t catch a break.

After what seemed like a short amount of time, Sawako was startled out of her concentration by a knock at the door. The person on the other side knocked four times and in a rhythmic fashion. This was Shota’s signature knock. A rush of excitement surged through her body.

She jumped up from her seat and made for the door. Upon opening it, she was greeted by the characteristically smiling face of Kazehaya Shota, and she immediately felt better once she saw it. She let go of the door handle and rushed into the hallway, embracing Shota and nearly knocking him over as she did.

They stood in an embrace for a time until Sawako pulled herself away. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek as a matter of routine and thanked him for coming. She took his hand and led him inside.

The door slammed behind them and Shota promptly took his spot in the armchair, spreading his limbs in all directions as he relaxed. Shota loved Sawako’s comfortable armchair so much that this was usually the first thing he did when he came to visit her. After getting comfortable and making all kinds of noises associated with such a task, he wasted no time getting to the bottom of Sawako’s troubles.

“So, something a professor said was bothering you? Are you okay?”

Sawako gave a melancholy smile. It was just like him to get straight to the point when it came to solving her problems. She liked that about him.

“Yeah. I’m okay. It’s nothing that serious, it just got my mind going.”

Shota motioned for her to come to him. Understanding what he was getting at, she walked to the armchair and squeezed in beside him. It was a tight fit, but thanks to Sawako’s smaller frame they could just barely squeeze the both of them into the armchair. Sawako didn’t want to spend the money on more furniture, so they made do with what they had. And if they were being honest, they didn’t mind the tight fit of the armchair so much as it was an excuse to bring them close together.

Sawako rested her head on Shota’s shoulder as he reached an arm around her body.

“Tell me what’s bothering you,” he said.

Sawako was silent for a moment as she tried to put her thoughts into words. She had spent the latter half of the day reflecting on what Nobusawa-sensei had said, but she still had trouble articulating exactly what she had been feeling.

“I guess… I’m just tired,” she began, “In class today, Nobusawa-sensei told me to breathe every once in a while. He said that he didn’t want to see me destroy myself in the process of getting my education. He seemed worried about me, like he could tell how exhausted I am. And I guess that just got me wondering if it’s worth all the hardship.”

Shota remained silent as he took in Sawako’s words. He knew her well enough that at this moment the best thing he could do was listen.

“I know it will be worth it in the end,” she continued, “I know I need my degree in order to live the life I want to lead. But with my heavy schedule and my job, I just feel so stretched thin. I think Nobusawa-sensei made me realize that.”

Shota remained silent.

“I just wonder if maybe my constant busyness is preventing me from taking full advantage of life. Sometimes I wonder if I’m truly living life at all. I only really feel alive when I’m around you.”

As she spoke the words, Sawako was slightly shocked at how unintentionally deep she had sounded. She took it as a sign that while she was not necessarily unhappy, what she said must have been unequivocally true.

Shota let a period of silence pass before he replied.

“I understand what you mean,” he said, stroking her head lightly with his free hand, “When you repeat the same busy schedule over and over, it starts to get to you. I’ll admit, I’ve felt something similar.”

Sawako began to stroke his chest in response to having her head scratched.

“I guess… That’s just how our lives are right now,” he continued, “But it doesn’t always have to be that way. Going to university and working a job at the same time doesn’t leave much free time. But who knows? Our lives after school might not be so bad.”

A momentary silence descended as the two thought on Shota’s words. After a time, Sawako broke the silence.

“I just don’t have any time to think, you know? The days fly by and they are all the same. I go through the same routine day after day, and the repetitiveness makes the days fly by even faster. Days turn into weeks and into months. And I feel like I’m missing out on something. I want to enjoy my time with you at university, but I don’t feel like I have the time for that luxury.”

A single tear erupted from Sawako’s right eye as the words came gushing out of her mouth. She brought her hand to it, surprised. She wiped it away continued speaking.

“It’s just that, I don’t want my time with you in this part of our lives to go away so quickly. I want to look back on these days fondly, like I look back on our high school days. But I’m not allowed the time.”

Shota seemed puzzled. It was clear that he was trying to think of something to say to make her feel better. But he did not have the answer to such complicated emotions.

“I haven’t thought about it as deeply as you have,” he said, “But you’re right. We are very busy right now, too busy to really live life to the fullest. The carefree days of high school seem very far away from where we are now.”

A slightly depressing air filled the short gap of silence between this and what Shota said next.

“Life is kind of a blur right now. It goes by so fast. But if it’s any consolation, I can tell you that right now, at this moment, it doesn’t seem like such a blur to me.”

Sawako stopped stroking his chest and removed her head from his shoulder to look at him.

“What do you mean?”

Shota looked her directly in the eyes.

“I mean that when I’m with you, time seems to slow down. I can take a moment to breathe, to relax, to simply enjoy things. You put me at ease.”

Sawako said nothing, but the corners of her mouth curved slightly in what was the beginnings of a smile. Shota’s words didn’t solve the problem, but they did make her feel much better. She knew from those words that she wasn’t alone in her struggle through the relentlessness of the adult world.

“And I know that even though daily life right now isn’t easy, knowing that I can see you whenever I want to makes it much easier to get through. And knowing that once all of this is done, once we are through university and out in the larger world, knowing that you will be there with me is all the motivation I need to keep going.”

At this, Sawako knew that she would be okay. She couldn’t quite keep the feelings she had at bay, but she knew that she would get through this difficult time and that she would have Shota there with her throughout and beyond.

She placed her head back on his shoulder and reached her arms around him. She held him tight and promised herself that she would never let go.

“You’re just the best guy,” she said.

Shota chuckled at this.

“I know.”

The pair sat in the armchair, relishing the warmth and comfort they shared together. A serene, blissful feeling of companionship washed over the both of them.

The almost perfect atmosphere that had been created was ruined by a sudden realization by Sawako.

“Ah crap,” she said as the realization hit her.

“What is it?”

“I forgot to finish my essay! Nobusawa-sensei asked me to email it to him by tonight!”

Sawako leapt up from the chair, making her way hastily to her laptop. Shota could only laugh to himself.

Their lives were very busy indeed.


	6. Chapter 6

“What can I get you?”

Sawako hesitated for a moment. She wasn’t sure whether or not the bartender was speaking to her, and didn’t want to embarrass herself if he wasn’t. 

“Miss, what can I get you?”

She looked at the bartender’s face, his eyes were looking directly at her and she realized with embarrassment that she was the only person he could have been talking to.

“Ah, yes. Sorry. Three cranberry vodkas please.”

Sawako shuddered a bit at the bartender’s annoyed expression as he turned away silently. She hated to cause people trouble, and she had just annoyed this poor bartender with her awkwardness.

 _Though, I guess I am somewhat out of my element._ She thought to herself.

As the bartender made the drinks, she surveyed her surroundings. Her friends Ayane and Chizuru had brought her to a nightclub in Susukino, Sapporo’s red light district. And she was completely out of her comfort zone. All around her were throngs of intoxicated and obnoxious club goers, and many of them were only there to get black out drunk or to find a quick hookup. Sawako was looking for neither of these things, and she felt quite out of place.

As she squinted at the flashing lights and winced at the pounding music in her ears, she almost didn’t notice the bartender trying to get her attention again.

“Miss… MISS! Your drinks are ready.”

Sawako jumped slightly and turned to face him. 

“That’ll be 3300 yen,” he shouted over the noise.

“What?” Sawako shouted back, unsure if she had heard him right.

“3300 yen, miss,” The bartender repeated, louder this time, “1100 each. Cash or card?”

She had heard him right. A drink at this club was 1100 yen. 3300 for her and her friends to drink a relatively small amount of alcohol. How people got black out drunk in this place and didn’t go broke, she wasn’t sure.

Luckily, Ayane and Chizuru had given her 2000 yen each to pay for the drinks and had offered to buy hers, but she still winced and she handed the bartender the large sum of money.

Realizing she would have some trouble carrying three drinks to her friends with only two hands, she looked around in a panic as the bartender handed her a measly 700 yen in change. To her relief, Chizuru emerged and came to her rescue.

Chizuru grabbed two of the drinks wordlessly, giving Sawako a wink as she left to take them in Ayane’s direction. Sawako followed close behind, clutching her expensive drink in one hand.

Weaving her way through the crowds of people and trying her best not to spill the costly drink, Sawako followed Chizuru to the other side of the club, where Ayane had managed to grab a table. As Chizuru sat down, Ayane reached out a hand shakily, eager for more alcohol to advance her already slightly inebriated state. Sawako slid into the circular cushion surrounding the rounded table, periodically taking nervous sips.

After chugging half her drink and setting it down, Chizuru was the first to shout over the roar of the crowd.

“Isn’t this great?” she bellowed as she placed her arms around Sawako and Ayane, “How often do just us girls get to go out and do stuff together? I feel like we always have the guys around. It’s just like old times!”

“Yeah, and this club is great!” added Ayane, “I’m glad we decided to go for a different one this time! What do you think, Sawako?”

Raising her voice louder than she normally would, Sawako shouted, “Y-yeah! It’s great!”

Ayane and Chizuru turned to look at each other before bursting out with laughter.

Confused, Sawako shifted nervously in her seat.

“Sawako, girl. It’s clear that you hate it,” Ayane said between bursts of laughter, “You look so scared and uncomfortable. Don’t say it’s great just for our sake.”

Sawako fidgeted. It was no use trying to fool her closest friends.

“But hey, thanks for coming with us Sawako. We know this isn’t really your scene, but the fact that you came means a lot,” Chizuru shouted. 

Sawako looked at the floor, embarrassed.

“No, it’s not really my scene,” she said with an effort, her voice barely audible over the roar of the club, “But I like to spend time with you two. You’re my two closest friends, after all.”

Ayane and Chizuru gave each other a knowing look.

“Sawako, you’re just too sweet,” said Ayane with a grin, “We love you lots, you know.”

Chizuru jabbed Sawako lightly in the ribs.

“Yeah,” she said with a laugh, “Thanks for putting up with us Sawako.”

Sawako smiled and said nothing more.

Realizing she was overwhelmed, Ayane spoke up.

“Sawako, you know what might help you become a bit more comfortable with all of this?”

Sawako looked at Ayane, wondering what she could mean.

Ayane held up her cup with a mischievous grin.

“More alcohol!”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fumbling with her keys in the dimly lit hallway, Sawako eventually managed to push open the door to her apartment in the 3 am light. She was met by a pair of faintly glowing eyes and a series of meows.

“Hey Junko,” she said as she flipped the light switch.

A happy cat bounced her way about the room as Sawako sleepily removed her shoes and set down her bag. She was glad to have gone out with her friends, but recalling the previous lazier weekend she had spent with Shota, she found a part of herself wishing that she could have done something like that instead. That, or a part of her wished that Ayane and Chizuru weren’t such party animals.

_Mew_

Junko’s incessant mewing broke her out of her thoughts. The cat had probably been lonely while she was out with her friends, and surely wanted to be played with. But Sawako was exhausted from the shenanigans her friends had forced her to take part in. Junko would have to be satisfied with simply curling up beside her master as she slept instead of playing. Sawako went to her room to remove her uncomfortable dress and get into something she could sleep in.

As soon as she got into her pajamas, Sawako grabbed her phone. Even though it was 3 am, Sawako could not go to sleep without completing her nightly ritual of checking the internet before bed. She wouldn’t check anything particularly important, but she had become so used to it that if she didn’t do it before sleeping she felt like she was missing something important in her routine.

She checked various social networks, news sites, email and the like. After about ten minutes of checking up on old high school classmates she hadn’t seen in years and reading about the latest political scandal, she was hit with a realization.

_Oh. I forgot to text Shota!_

Whenever she went out with Ayane and Chizuru as she often did, she would text Shota when she got home to let him know that she was okay. Given how late the three of them would stay out, he would often get nervous. Overall, Sapporo was a safe place to live, but you never knew in a city of two million people who might try to mess with you.

She closed her internet browser and began to type out a message.

_Hey Shota. I got back home safe. Great night with the girls today. I’m going to bed now. Talk to you later!_

She hit send and was somewhat surprised by the timestamp that appeared on the message as soon as it was sent. 3:44 am. She was up really late. At least she didn’t have to be anywhere the next day.

She connected her phone to its charger and set an alarm for 11. She would allow herself to sleep in a little given how late she had been out, but she still didn’t want to waste her Saturday. With the alarm set, she shut off the lamp she had on next to her bed. It was definitely time for sleep.

Just as she rested her head on her pillow, her ringtone went off. There was only one person who could have been calling.

She answered it and was greeted by Shota’s sleepy sounding voice.

“Hey… Sawako. It’s me. I’m glad you made it back okay. I just wanted to check in with you. How was your night?”

Still somewhat surprised that he had called her this late, she took a moment to respond.

“It was good. They were pretty wild as always but I had a lot of fun. But what I want to know is why you’re still awake. You need your sleep!”

“Oh, you know. I had my ringer on and your text woke me up. So I just thought I’d call and hear your voice really quick.”

At these words, Sawako was filled with a warm, tingling sensation.

“Aw… That’s so sweet of you to say,” she responded with delight, “I’m glad I got to hear yours too.”

A momentary silence descended on them.

“So, did you go to the club again with those two?” Shota finally asked.

“Yeah,” she said, “We went to a different one this time, but it was the same basic idea.”

She heard a chuckle through the earpiece.

“Yeah, those clubs are all the same, aren’t they? I can’t say I’ve been to too many, because Ryu would never want to go. And for that matter, neither would you. You’re just forced into it by your friends.”

Sawako let out a tired laugh.

“Yeah, that’s true. We could always go together if you really wanted to. But that’s not really how we do things.”

“Yeah.”

A silence again. There was no way either of them could carry on a meaningful conversation at this late hour. The only reason they were talking to each other and were not asleep was simply to hear the other speak. Quality conversation was not really what they were looking for.

Understanding this, Sawako decided to call it off.

“I need to go to bed, Shota. And so do you. It was great to talk to you though. I’m glad you called me.”

“Yeah, I need to sleep too. I’m glad I got to talk to you too. I’ll see you later.”

“See you later, goodnight.”

Sawako ended the call with a smile on her face. Their conversation hadn’t had much substance, but having talked to Shota, she would go to bed far happier than she had been before.

_Mew_

Junko’s soft meow made Sawako aware of her cat’s presence. She clicked her tongue a few times to get Junko to come closer and the cat quickly obeyed. Once Junko had jumped onto the bed, Sawako pulled her into an embrace and closed her eyes. 

She quickly drifted off to a series of soothing purrs.


End file.
